Listening is required in order for communication to be complete. Our rediculous business has created a culture of half listeners. Complete attention tells your loved one that you care. This is why we at Cup Of Time recommend removing all distractions. Every time you share a Cup Of Time with your other half will not be an earth moving emotional experience. We do hope your conversations will be deep. In order for this to happen your people need to know they are important. Be sure you are listening! (Eye contact, engaged in conversation, avoid interruptions...If you are afraid you will forget your point, like me, have a notebook close by and jot it down.)
One thing that I've noticed over the course of time is that we don't know how to teach our kids about modesty. My mom passed away when I was in my mid 20s. She did teach me about Modesty. She corrected me when she saw that I was exposing too much skin. She did it in a very delicate yet instructive way. I was corrected in her love for me.
I did not know then what I know now: men are visual people. God made them that way. Men are led/fed by what they see. My pastor that baptized me in Elkhorn, Wisconsin once said to my husband, Jeremiah, "make the first look a good one, it is the second look that's the sin." See the first look is natural (The way God made us). The second time is a choice to look. It's a conscious decision and signifies a condition of the heart, most often times lust. Ever been on a date and your man kept looking at somebody else? We get angry because of that choice to look, which is lust which is sin. If a man can not keep his eyes off of...it is lust. Do you see? If they only looked once (natural) we would not even get mad, because it is natural. Most of us would probably even agree - that the woman is beautiful. Don't be fooled ladies, you were not over reacting or too sensitive or...! It is not ok for them to do that and when we are completely honest, if our man has a wandering eye - we REALLY do not like it.
Just as it is not ok for our men to lust, it is also not ok for us to dress in a fashion that causes them to lust. Our men being visual creatures is a reason why it is important for us ladies, to look our best.
When I was unconscious about the things of God I dressed provocatively. After I was baptized, I went through an almost Amish time period. Lol and true! And then boy oh boy, I went through a phase of 'Who did it and whatever for!?!' I know now that God was molding me.
I have come to understand that the answer is in the middle. Our Lord is not a dictator. We are to obey HIS commandments. This is clear when we read HIS Word. There isn't specifics about dress in the Bible (except that men are not dress like women and vice versa). How to be sure we are hitting the mark - ask yourself this: When you dress who do you aim to please? The world; do you want to keep up with Hollywood? The Kardashians? (Yikes!) Or do you aim to please God? There is a big difference in what God and Hollywood says is fine - in fact Hollywood says anything goes now a days, right? And we just know this is not good. We went from looking good for the one that we love to "I need to look good for everybody." We went from wanting to look pleasing in our own eyes to "I want everybody to approve me." It's a crisis. For most, this style of dress has happened little by little overtime. For others dressing provocatively is/was deliberate. No matter what the case is, the bare minimum style of dress is a sign that lust is out of control in our world.
Talk to your kids. No matter how old they are. Talk to them about modesty and what it can do for ones self esteem- for ones soul.
Do you remember when stilettos used to be worn only by hookers? Did you know this fact? If your children are younger and you did not teach them then they don't know. The mass majority of Media does not teach the significance of the heel origin! Funny (lol) and true! When they were first brought into the world it signified you were "loose". Loose meant a conglomerate of things such as open to sin. Every hooker wore them. The world has made them fashionable. But the origin is something quite different. Miniskirts, see-through shirts... All of that. Even leggings/yoga pants, skin tight jeans. Hello! Skin is the keyword here. They are as tight as your skin-so they show everything-meaning there's no Modesty in them. Immodesty causes lust in the eyes of the men around us.
Time and exposure to the marketing of this style of dress as being cool, beautiful, HOT (hell is HOT people!) has brought us far from modesty. Twisted what is true.
The ideas that immodesty is cool does not change the fact that how I dress can create desire, lust, covetous in the eyes of others. The way we dress draws attention, period. One of the commandments is LOVE thy neighbor as thyself. Am I loving if I contribute to the lust factor in this world?
Be confident in your right as a parent to speak to your children about Modesty. Our innocence, their innocence is truly worth much more than the price of gold.
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Question Of The Week
Remember when...? You fill in the blank! Each Cup Of Timer think of a point in your lives that you wish to relive through rememberance and ask your mom, dad, daughter, son, husband or wife if they remember. Relieve it together! It even works with Jesus! Don't be surprised if you here Him ask you a question of rememberance as well!
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